A Conversation with Corey Seemiller, an Award-Winning Professor and Author

Corey Seemiller is an award-winning professor of leadership and global generational expert. She has authored several books and articles and speaks at events around the world. Her work has been featured in major news publications and media outlets such as NPR, The New York Times, Time Magazine, and Newsweek, and her highly popular TED Talk has garnered hundreds of thousands of views. An accredited life coach with specialties in Law of Attraction and intuitive development, Corey also co-hosts the Rock That Relationship! podcast, discussing debacles and successes with breakups, healing processes, dating, and relationships. Corey resides in Tucson, Arizona and is an avid hiker and outdoor enthusiast.

Let’s get started with a quick rapid fire.

Q1. If you could be transformed into one animal, which one would you choose?

I would for sure be a domestic house cat. Who doesn’t want to lay around soaking in the sun, have someone clean up after you, get lots of cuddles on demand, and eat all day?

Q2. What time do you usually go to bed at night?

10pm, after I watch 15 minutes of some dating reality show and then doze off right when drama starts happening.

Q3. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

Extrovert all the way! I’ve never met a stranger.

Q4. Who is your favorite Disney character?

Piglet. He tends to be nervous but surprises everyone with his bravery! What an inspiration!

Q5. Would you rather travel to the past or to the future?

The past…I want to bounce around from decade to decade and place to place to see it all!

Q6. What is your last Google search?

Things to do in Puerto Vallarta.

Q7. What object do you misplace or lose the most?

My headlamp. I have moved my headlamp to various places in my house to “better remember” where I put it. I then forget, buy another, and then put the new one in a place I will “better remember.”

Q8. What is the kindest thing someone ever did for you?

My very first love who I met just before I turned 21, gave me 21 very small gifts on my 21^st birthday for every birthday she had ever missed.

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Q9. Learn by watching or learn by doing?

Watching, doing, and often…messing up.

Q10. Expensive presents or homemade presents?

Homemade.

Q11. What is one missed opportunity that you wish you could have a second chance at?

That one time I ate a funky tasting grilled cheese and got food poisoning the night before giving a big pitch to a publisher. I missed the pitch and didn’t end up publishing with them.

Q12. What is not a big deal to most people but is torture to you?

Slow walkers…while out hiking, at the airport, on a sidewalk, or anywhere. And, I’m ALWAYS trapped behind them!

It’s time for a more detailed conversation, Corey.

You’ve answered our rapid fire so well, Corey. Now, it’s time for our readers to know more about the person behind the book.

Q. Tell us something about yourself that’s going to make us wonder more about you.

I won a karaoke contest rapping The Humpty Dance. I’m a huge fan of rap music but had never performed this song. I didn’t even remember that some of the lyrics were a little over the top until they appeared on the screen. Regardless, I still sang my heart out. I’m pretty sure they picked me as the winner because watching some nearly 50-year old white lesbian rap a Digital Underground song was a once-in-a-lifetime sight for everyone!

Q. Well, that will keep you in our thoughts. So, what books did you grow up reading?

I loved anything by Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary. I particularly resonated with Ramona Quimby and loved her initiative to make things happen, even if the things she did were a little odd. My favorite scene in Ramona and her Father was when she tried to get her dad to stop smoking. She hung No Smoking signs all over the house. Her dad came home from work and asked, “Who is Nosmo King?” That always inspired me as Ramona never gave up on her convictions!

Q. Interesting. What, to you, are the most important elements of good writing?

For me, it’s authenticity. Not only does the story need to be authentically you but so does the writing. I’ve had editors change the cadence or flow of what I wrote to the point that it didn’t sound like my voice anymore. While I want feedback and certainly want to improve my craft, I always commit to staying true to my authenticity in how I show up in the pages.

Q. Do you hide any secrets in your books that only a few people will find?

I have one secret in my upcoming memoir that only one person could find. She was my very first love interest, and I wrote a chapter about her called First Love. The secret hidden in that chapter is a bit of a play on words. I can’t wait until she sees it.

Q. Now comes the most anticipated question that every author must answer. How do you process and deal with negative book reviews? 

I once came across an Amazon book review of one of my previous books. It was 3 stars, which isn’t all that bad. I wondered, though, if this reviewer gave everything 3 stars. So, I clicked on the name and saw other items that person had reviewed. Nearly all were 5 stars, including one for Greenie’s Dog Treats. I texted my co-author in a fury and told her what happened. Her response was “My dog loves Greenies.” I burst out laughing and let the whole thing go. Now, I don’t read Amazon reviews.

Q. What comes first for you — the plot or the characters — and why?

Since my most recent book is a memoir, both come at the same time. I have a story to tell that already happened, but those stories aren’t stories without the characters.

Q. How do you develop your plot and characters? 

With memoir, the story already exists, to some extent. However, I have to make some interesting editorial choices in selecting which parts of the larger story I want to focus on. In many cases with this book, I had mini-stories that I simply cut out because they didn’t advance the larger plot line and were more insignificant than I initially thought. Once I landed on the mini-stories I wanted to tell, I then made sure to develop the characters as fully as possible to give them the texture they deserved.

Q. What does literary success look like to you?

My hope is that the people who read my book feel inspired, educated, entertained, or simply not alone in their own experiences. Thus, success for me is making a difference in the lives of readers so they can better themselves.

Q. Let’s talk about your book. Tell us about it. No major spoilers.

My Book/memoir is the story of my relentless quest to heal from heartbreak and find my soulmate after a devastating end to my seven-year relationship. Throughout the course of one year, I deploy 44 different strategies on a home-grown healing checklist I crafted, intentionally designed to help me move quickly through heartache to find love again. As I embark on each strategy, some with more success than others, I realize that neither healing nor love can be controlled no matter how ironclad any checklist might be. What unfolds is deep healing that comes in unexpected ways, two possible paths to love, and a journey that proves that happiness is often in plain sight.

Q. What part of the book did you have the hardest time writing?

My Book/memoir takes place over one year following an awful breakup. I decided to start writing the book five months into that year-long journey. So, I had to recollect those experiences as memories to write about them, which was difficult because some of it was heartbreaking and my brain didn’t want to revisit that pain. But, once my writing caught up with the present day, I wrote the book as my life unfolded, which was far more fun and entertaining – even in writing the difficult or sad parts.

Q. Would you and your main character get along? 

Since I am the main character, I would say, “Yes.” But, that version of me is long gone. So, in some senses, I think the main character would be too Type-A and too much of a worrier and overthinker than I would want to be around today!

Q. What are the essential characteristics of a hero you can root for? 

I really appreciate the authentic hero that makes mistakes…not intentional hurtful actions but really tries their best to do the right thing even if it sometimes doesn’t turn out positively.

Q. Let’s talk about the process of writing. When you’re writing an emotional or difficult scene, how do you set the mood?

When I was writing my memoir, particularly the parts I was chronicling as they were unfolding, I was either living in the scene at that moment or experienced it so recently that it felt fresh. I wrote a particular chapter called “The Holiday,” a heartbreaking take on what unmagic on Christmas feels like when you have no one to love. I wrote each part of that chapter as the Christmas season was happening, sometimes within mere hours of an event. So, the mood was usually still very real and very present in me during the writing.

Q. What was your hardest scene to write?

I wrote a scene about a person I met through online dating and invited to come to my house for three days as our initial meeting. She flew across the country, and as soon as I saw her, I realized I was not at all interested in a romantic rendezvous. It was an awkward situation and ended in an even more uncomfortable way. Having to write that scene was difficult for two reasons. For one, I wanted to make sure to be respectful to this person when I portrayed the situation because it would have been easy to just poke fun. Second, when I wrote it and every time I dove back in to edit it, I had to relive that incredible discomfort as if I was in the scene in real life all over again.

Q. It’s been fun. Now, before we wrap this up, do you have any suggestions to help me become a better writer? If so, what are they?

My favorite piece of advice is to take a break if you are stuck. I’m a force-my-way-through-it kind of person and would often reword a sentence a hundred times before taking a break. I have now realized that if something sounds weird, it probably is. I take a walk, work on something else, or even just sleep on it, and come back to it later. When I do, I often find the exact words I was looking for!

UPDATE:- Her book, The Soulmate Strategy will be available on Amazon starting February 10, 2026.

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